Thursday, August 22, 2013

QB Q&A - No kids at the reception? We asked for it ...

Occasionally QB receives a question from a reader looking for some much needed help or advice, and we share the question with our Facebook followers for answers.

If you have a question you want answered, send your query to web@queenslandbrides, or alternatively, send us a message on Facebook. If you want to stay anonymous, that's fine too!

Recently an anonymous asker queried whether it is really unreasonable to ask family and friends NOT to bring their kids to the wedding reception?

Image from the wedding of Iman and Karina

Apparently their request for a 'no kids' reception is causing a serious rift in the family.

So we asked our followers to answer 'how does the couple handle this situation? Stick to their 'no kids' requests or let some guests bring theirs because they don't want to leave their little ones with a babysitter?'

We received an overwhelming response to the question with many readers sharing their own stories and opinions:
'I have learned in my 24 years as a mother that a night off is a night off. Take it! Our precious little bundles will not be scarred for life if we parents take a night off and enjoy being 'just a couple' ... Who knows, one might even enjoy oneself! One might even (dare I say it) see the child-free wedding as a way to reconnect with the reason we got married ourselves!'
Cheryl O'Brien 
'We had a "no kids" wedding after seeing a family member's reception with kids running around and breaking things all night. Everyone had a lovely night and didn't worry about kids spoiling things!'
Rachel Puckeridge 
'With 90% of our guests traveling we couldn't ask for a no child reception so we just went with the flow.'
Danielle Attwood 
'I had this happen at my wedding. We said no kids at the reception and two of our friends did not come to the wedding because of it. It was their loss.'
Melinda O'Brien
Image from the wedding of Alexandra and Fortunato, Peter Crichton Photography

'This might be an old wives' tale, but apparently kids at a wedding is meant to bring heaps of good luck. I wouldn't care either way. If I was a guest I'd love the fact "no kids" allowed would mean a night to ourselves.'
Jannika Vaikko 
'Depends on the closeness of the children to the bride and groom. Distant rellies and friends no. However close friends and family I would be willing to accommodate.'
Cheryl Louise 
'It's pretty standard not to have kids at weddings. As long as it is a blanket rule and no one brings kids it's fine. The only exceptions to this should be breasted babies and the couple's own children. Problems arise when some are able to bring kids and others are not ... '
Claire Fowler 
'At our wedding we had a separate table for the kids with ice cream for dessert and colouring in, etc, and we got the kids to help open our gifts ... In today's society I think adding the children is a wonderful thing - but I guess if the bride and groom are not kid types then best to avoid if it creates stress - we LOVED having the kids there and their parents were happy and relaxed with them close by as well.'
Anne Vickery 
'Having just got married, having kids at the reception wasn't a problem at all. They had plenty to do and were incredibly well behaved. If you're expecting people to travel to your wedding and then expecting them to get babysitters of course they'd be annoyed. As would most if you excluded an age group. Maybe provide an area for children to play like a games area and hire someone to watch guests kids will prevent a rift with your family and mean those that want to attend can, and don't have to miss out because you've decided no kids.'
Pamela Finn

Image from the wedding of Iman and Karina

If you're thinking of having a no kids reception, here's some suggestions from our followers of how to break it to your guests ...
'... I'd just advise explaining that you want your guests to have the night off, unwind and enjoy yourselves.'
Matt Palmer

'We simply wrote on our invitations, "unfortunately this is not a child friendly venue. If you would like assistance or recommendations for child care arrangements we are very happy to help."'
Michelle Clark
'I am having no kids at wedding and gave my guests a list of babysitters in the area that came highly recommended from the venue.'
Belle Holloway  
' ... In light that babysitters aren't always easy to arrange, the invites go out a little earlier than normal to allow guest more time to make arrangements.'
Renee Duff
' ... We simply wrote on our invites, "whilst we love the little ones, this is an adult only occasion". Stand your ground, it's your day, not theirs.'
Caitlin Backstrom 
Image from the wedding of Keith and Vanessa, Salt Studios

For those who want to compromise
' ... I am providing a fully qualified day care teacher at my sisters place for the people who have kids and can't get a baby sitter.'
Melanie Ellis 
' ... Maybe a resolution would be to have a room at the venue (if possible!) for kids where they can watch DVDs etc with a babysitter so u dont have to worry about extra table settings etc.'
Hayley Goddard
'I had children. I hired babysitters and jumping castles for them and they were all entertained.'
Sam Shillabeer  
'... We are guests at a wedding next month where we will be leaving our two little kids with the hotels kids club. It's the bride and groom's day, if they prefer no kids, it should be none'
Bronwyn Brady 
'...There are plenty of babysitting services available in most towns that have got blue cards and first aid ... I will have baby sitting services cards in my invites so people can be prepared ... '
Hannah Johnsen Jenny
To our asker, we hope you come to a solution that makes you happy, and that your family accept it, whatever it may be.

Do you want to share your two cents? Here's the link to our post on Facebook.


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