Words: Sara Holmes
Forgive and Forget
Be forgiving – if he forgets to pick up the invitations you asked him to, don’t freak out. He’s not perfect and didn’t do it on purpose to upset you. The last thing he wants to do is stress you out at a time like this, so try and look for the silver lining and come up with a solution together. Perhaps take the chance to have a quick coffee out together and pick up the invitations before work the next morning.
|Wedding of Matilda and Evan - Ben Clark Photography|
Let him pick his suit for the wedding. You may need to provide some gentle guidance, but be kind and take his opinion into consideration. He has to wear it for the whole day, so make sure he’s comfortable. Men aren’t as used to being in pain for the sake of fashion as we ladies are, so if he’s complaining about his suit itching during the fitting then put that one aside or he’ll be restless for the entire day.
|Wedding of Hilton and Paulina - Casey Jane Photography|
They don’t say “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” for nothing. Most men are food-focussed creatures and he’ll love to have some input into the reception menu. Sample different menus together and make a decision as a team. Also, find out what his favourite flavour is for the wedding cake and surprise him with it on the day, or if he’s a sweet tooth, take him along to the cake tastings.
Read Between the Lines
Try and ask him for his opinions on issues during the decision making process. However, if he doesn’t want to help out with choosing the napkin colours or selecting lace for the invitations, don’t sweat it. Try not to mistake this for him being uncaring. Just because he doesn’t mind what the colour of the tablecloths is or which centrepiece is used doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. He’s happy as long as he gets married to you at the end of the day.
|Wedding of Raki and Laura - Yulia Photography|
While he may not care about the cutlery placement, he’ll most likely want to have some input into the venue selection and band or DJ. Consult with him on all the ‘big’ decisions. Even if he doesn't have a preference, he'll appreciate that you value his opinion. Let him know how you’re progressing with the planning. He may not want to know every little detail, but it’s good for both of you if he stays informed. If you come across some trouble in the planning process, he might surprise you with an original solution you would never have envisaged. It always pays to listen to what he has to say – sometimes we all need someone with a different perspective to simplify situations that may seem complicated to us.
Choose Your Battles
If you’re both inflexible on a certain detail it’s important to learn to compromise – it’s his day too. And who knows, if you let him have this one, the next time an issue arises he may be more willing to do things your way.
|Wedding of Liam and Stacey - Sterling Studios|
Forget Him Not
Write him a little note to slip in or pin to his suit for him to find on the day. Remind him about the day you first met or your first kiss and how excited you are to be spending the rest of your life with him. Men don't like to admit it, but they’re big softies on the inside and even the toughest of them can feel a little jittery on their wedding day. Include any little in-jokes you may have to make him smile and just tell him why you love him.This little reminder will calm his nerves and put him in a great mood for the day.
Even the calmest bride can become overwhelmed at times, but don’t forget that he’s there for you and you are both there to support each other. Enjoy your special day together and remember that in the end it's your love for each other that matters most.
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